my first blog

I decided to inform my grandparents of my upcoming tattoo appointments. Their immediate disappointment was not surprising to me. My grandpa decided the best way to change my mind about said tattoo was to say, “You can get a tattoo, but only if it’s the confederate flag on your left butt cheek.” I’m 90% sure he was joking…
I swear to god if I see one more person wearing Chaco’s (IN THE SNOW)… I might explode. Then, these heathens feel like they can COMPLAIN about their feet being wet or cold. Seriously? It is 27 degrees outside. Why the hell are you wearing sandals?
There is a kid in my grade who strongly resembles Linguine from Ratatouille. Also my good friend Ryan looks like a Thumb Thumb from spy kids. I find myself trying to connect people’s faces to cartoon characters as a coping mechanism for my chronic sadness. It makes me happy to think “Hey that kid looks like Cheese from Fosters Home of Imaginary Friends“. I have noticed; however, that these people do not appreciate it when you inform them of what character they look like. Apparently it hurts their self esteem.
When XXXTentesticles died, it was really upsetting for my ex boyfriend. He wrote “RIP XXXblahblahblah” all over the $40 hoodie I bought him for Christmas. He also did not understand why I would be upset about the chicken scratch sharpie handwriting on that hoodie. That was when I knew the relationship was on the decline. It was also when I realized I was dating an underground sound cloud rapper groupie.